i have definitely been slacking...

Thank goodness my grandma's not alive. She'd go nuts without Guiding Light.

Allison to Heather: Hey Biscuit!
Heather to Allison: Hey Chubby!

If I ever get a dog I'm going to name it Dog. I think it's the most economical choice. - By the way she did get a dog, but she named it Yuki.

Heather makes quotation marks in the air with 1 hand upside down.

Allison - Heather, how did you see it? It was behind your head.
Heather - I have maniac eyes.

I bet that's why I didn't hear him say pork-barrelling. Hmmm, well Heather that's because he said the proof is in the pudding.

I really think I was meant to be a parrot. I'm really good at repeating stuff.

Fidgety for life. I just put wool sheets on my bed.

Pointing to myself "Allison Lucile..."
Heather pointing to herself "Allison... Heather..."

How am I racist? I did not give a gender.

I'm not breaking the world in speed over here.

And yes. I was just sucking on a teabag.

Can you teach me how to speak in London?

Black guy or white guy? High school...totally white.

She ain't no prodigal frog.

I will F you under this table. I meant up.

Lucy and Goosey = Ovaries
Tina and Turner = Fallopian Tubes
Ike = Uterus

This is what Heather said about trying to get rid of hiccups - "I almost hung myself in the pool."

Allison to Heather: You need to start having babies if your sister and brother won't.
Heather: I know. My family is decrepid.

Kevin: I used to love the vanilla ones.
Heather: But I don't like bananas.