I hate christmas!

To Heather a wine festival can also be called a sidewalk sale.

"Can you please bring us back a sleuth?" - In asking me to actually bring her a sloth back from costa rica.

"Ahhh this one's browneyed girl not brown-eyed girl." - comparing van morrison to the isley brothers.

Trumpled - not quite trampled, but more than stomped. To Heather stomping is intentional and trampling is accidental.

"I don't know where city hall is. Do I look like an American?"

I really want a wok right now...

"I'm a disgusting human being with issues."

"My doctor thinks I'm gross. He won't touch me."

(sensing a theme?)

retro heather....

So I'm pretty sure I laugh non-stop at work on most days and it can almost entirely be a result of some of the crazy things that come out of Heather's mouth. I don't know where she gets some of the statements she makes or questions she asks, but man I'm glad she come up with them.

"Why can't I do reverse math?"

Baby carrots (she means baby corn)

"How do we have the same DNA in a girl and boy body?"

On not understanding why some roadways have 2 names (example: 76 is the Schuylkill Expressway or 676 is the Vine Street Expressway)..."That's like saying my name's Heather, but tomorrow call me Eve."

"Isn't there a dish that uses it though called bok chuey?" - on calling bok choy bok chuey

Ramsack (she means ransack)

"She wrote WWI, but I think she meant 9/11 and just typed it wrong." - on her sister bringing up WWI during a current political argument/discussion.